


Where Do We Go?

by pflaume



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Reconciliation, cheolhan, coupshan, jeongcheol - Freeform, jeongcoups, pastcheolsoo, postbreakup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-07
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2018-12-24 23:35:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12023424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pflaume/pseuds/pflaume
Summary: Jeonghan tried hard.Seungcheol hit the last straw.





	1. at 2am

Jeonghan doesn't know how did they end up like this. What's even worse is he doesn't even remember why Seungcheol is padding back and forth their apartment, picking up things he owns and shoving them all inside his bag. Jeonghan winces when the man just silently thrusts his black controller into his luggage and then pulls it out again before placing it gingerly on the tabletop, maybe remembering that Jeonghan bought it for him and it is never his in the first place.

 

The blond did put up a fight. _Damn_ , he did all he can to justify his actions to Seungcheol, even enumerated to the man each of his every frustrations but everything is futile. An hour ago, he was frantic and in hysterics, waving his hands in all sort of directions as he shouted to Seungcheol because he knew Seungcheol would console him. He expected the man to wrap his arms around him and say that everything was okay; reassure him that they're okay, because the last time they had a fight, his Seungcheol had him pinned against the wall and unraveled him like a book. It was so good, Seungcheol left Jeonghan incoherent and trembling, reminding him what he would be missing if he lets go.

 

_His Seungcheol._

 

What he didn't expect is for Seungcheol to blink back tears, hold his ground firm although Jeonghan saw how he flinched, and say, _"Yeah, you're right. Maybe we should end all of this"_ when Jeonghan implied a break up.

 

_He's not his Seungcheol anymore._

 

It is at this moment that Jeonghan realizes Seungcheol has already given up on him even if the man still hasn't put up a fight yet and it is a silent kill; the kind which makes Jeonghan stand in the middle of their apartment, eyes following Seungcheol as he packs up his things, at 2 am. Maybe he was too edgy; too pushy; too much of everything at once. He admits he was always the annoying one, always the one Seungcheol has to take care of.

 

"Seungcheol.." Jeonghan croaks, voice hoarse from all the shouting. He does not want all of this.

 

The other halts from roaming the house, shoulders hunched and even if the raven doesn't turn around to look at Jeonghan, the latter can imagine the bags under Seungcheol's eyes screaming big bold exhaustion.

 

"Don't worry, I'll be out by 3:00 or 4:00 am. Go get some rest."

 

Maybe he is already exhausted with Jeonghan.

 

Silence swallows them.

 

Or maybe this is karma, coming back around thrice the force Jeonghan has done years ago.

 

He met Seungcheol when they were still in high school. Jeonghan was a student assistant in the library and Seungcheol was a frequent, not that he was the studious type. He wasn't. In fact, he was the total whole opposite. Seungcheol was the school's soccer varsity team captain, as cliché as it seems, always clad in that jacket Jeonghan thought was too cramped for him but it hugged his arms sinfully so he doesn't really have a complain over it. The only reason why he was a regular inside the said premise was because of one person: _Hong Joshua_.

 

Hong Joshua was the exchange student from L.A: goal-oriented, persistent and always the goody-two-shoes. The man is the epitome of sophistication, from his latest IQ rate to how he handles stress well, considering the fact that he wasn't in his home soil.

 

He can still remember how he got acquainted with the two. Seungcheol's voice that was too deep for a man who looks like a puppy is still tattooed in the back of his mind. The raven borrowed a book, which Jeonghan can still clearly recite the title: _"Art of the 20th Century, Jean-Louis Ferrier, 1999"._ Every little detail that involves Seungcheol is itched into his mind and back then, he didn't even know why.

 

"You like paintings?" Jeonghan, out of sheer curiosity, asks as he punches the book code into the computer.

 

Seungcheol shrugs, bordering nonchalance. "Kinda. That's nothing really. Just a book to gaze on while I wait for Joshua."

 

"For an athlete like you, it's a surprise."

 

Seungcheol laughs, teeth showing and eyes crinkling so adorable Jeonghan has to take in a gush of breath, inconspicuously. "I'm actually taking Fine Arts for college, maybe double degree on Physical Education."

 

"That'sㅡ"

 

"Ridiculous? Impossible? Yeah, I know, but a man can dream."

 

Jeonghan nods and smiles as he hands the book to Seungcheol, "No, that's amazing."

 

Seungcheol, again, shows that million dollar grin but before he could even utter a word of thanks, Joshua shows up to his side, exclaiming at the sight of Jeonghan, "I know you!"

 

The latter flinches in surprise but manages to give a hearty chuckle at the excitement in Joshua's face. "Mhm, we both attend Music Club."

 

"Jeonghan, right?"

 

"Yes."

 

"I'm Joshua. Hey actually, Jihoon needs crew right now for the Autumn Show. I'm inviting you in. Are you okay with that?"

 

"Really?" Jeonghan raises a brow at the sudden invitation he is given. He is suddenly bashful, looking at Seungcheol who was also intently observing Joshua. He decides to grab whatever chance he has at a shot of seeing the man everyday. "Well.. I mean yeah, sure. Who am I to decline, right?"

 

"That's great! I'll get your contact later and then we can talk about it over the phone. We better get going now, Jeonghan. This guy has classes in five minutes."

 

"You don't have to say that," Seungcheol pokes Joshua's side, whining (much to Jeonghan's surprise) and Joshua laughs. Jeonghan fights the urge to roll his eyes. "Anyway, yeah, see you around Jeonghan."

 

"See you too.. both."

 

Months into that, they had built their own set of friends, starting from Seungcheol's varsity kids, along with Joshua's club mates which included Jeonghan and also the friends of Soonyoung, Jihoon's band mate.

 

Jeonghan doesn't know why the movies have always demonstrated romance between the Student Council President and the Varsity Team Captain but there he was, a witness of Seungcheol's constant and unfailing pining to Joshua, which was reciprocated in the end. By fall during Junior High, the two announced their relationship to everyone and all is good.

 

That's what Jeonghan thought.

 

He knew what he had for the guy was just physical attraction, nothing more than just _"he's hot"_ and was also sure that it'll just die down sooner or later. But in between lazy days of unfinished pizza boxes laying on the floor and sleepless nights of passing notes and Seungcheol tucking stray hair behind his ear as he drools into his notebook, Jeonghan found himself deep and too hung up on him.

 

He started to want Seungcheol... _so bad_. He needed those strong arms to be constantly wrapped around him and to protect him. He wanted his strong gaze to gravitate only on him.. and not on anyone else; for his deep voice to whisper promises of love and less than innocent things into his ears. He thought about tucking his face into the crook of Seungcheol's neck or have his lithe body pressed against his.

 

He got selfish.. too selfish.

 

Joshua is _perfect_ but Jeonghan knew what strings to pull and what cards to play. He was also aware of the tension in between him and Seungcheol and if he struck the right buttons, he knew he will succeed.

 

Jeonghan is an ace and he's gonna take advantage of all the chances given to him so he ended up convincing Seungcheol to enroll in the same uni he's also attending, masked with the reason that they should stick together now that Joshua's leaving for L.A to pursue his degree studies.

 

Months into uni and they started messing around. Seungcheol jumping right into Jeonghan's hands by always coming over the man's apartment. Each night would end up with the both of them undressing and a sick punch of guilt in the morning. Seungcheol needed the company due to the stress and Jeonghan was more than willing to oblige.

 

Seungcheol eventually broke up with Joshua with the disdain reason of _"I'm sorry I had a change of heart"_ and when everybody caught up of what was happening between the three, it was chaos. But Jeonghan got what he wanted and that was the only thing important to him that very moment.

 

And that important thing has slipped right out of his grip an hour ago.. _just like that_.

 

He knows he should make a move to save their dying relationship. He did not put his friendship with Joshua on the line for everything to end up futile. But Seungcheol, himself, blows the waning light out, right infront of his face.

 

He's now convinced this is karma. Three fucking years too fucking late.

 

"Seungcheol," he starts again, determined, but he keeps his eyes low and he focuses on fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

 

Seungcheol, again, stops packing. "Mhm?"

 

The blond recoils at the stark calmness of the other's voice. "You can stay the night."

 

"What?"

 

"I mean, you can stay whenever you want. You also paid for this apartment. You have all the right."

 

Seungcheol spins on his heels, a brow already raised; an expression Jeonghan sees whenever he asks for something incredulous like that overpriced painting hanging on the wall to their right, back when they took a vacation in Paris. "It's alright. I'll whip up something. I can stay at Mingyu's flat for the moment."

 

"No, it's okay. I can't also pay for rent if I shoulder all of the expenses. Even if we broke up," Jeonghan's voice cracks but he continues anyway, "we can still stay as.. _friends_ , right?"

 

Seungcheol chokes back a laugh. Jeonghan knows it is a sarcastic one.

 

"Friends," the other repeats, looking as if Jeonghan hits another jab at his man ego. "Alright, Jeonghan, if that's what you want. I can take the couch for now. I'll be good."

 

Seungcheol drops his bag, pads to their room, once shared, and comes back with pillows and a blanket in his arms before plopping on the couch wordlessly.

 

"Good night, Cheol."

 

A grunt as a reply.

 

_This was the problem._

 

If there is anyone who knows Seungcheol as much as Jihoon, his bestfriend, it would be Jeonghan. And he knows when Seungcheol has reached his limit, it would be calmness; sharp tranquility and silence seeping in rage which has always scared the wits out of Jeonghan. Seungcheol is definitely mad.

 

And so even if the blond wants to slide himself in between Seungcheol and the couch, even if he wants so badly to break down in front of the man just so he would console him, he doesn't.

 

He swallows sobs and goes to sleep alone that night.

 

-


	2. at midnight

_"Fuck."_

 

This has been the third time Seungcheol spits the word out that morning. The clock blares a strong 6:15 am from across the kitchen, searing the numbers behind his eyelids in great amounts of jabbing pain and he lets go of the knife he is holding before he rubs his face with his palms.

 

He didn't get enough shut eye that night. _Hell_ , he didn't get any of it because he could clearly hear Jeonghan sobbing inside their room, hushed but he could still hear enough to confirm that the younger had been muffling it out.

 

Seungcheol, for anything, is not mad; not even half of it. He's just really frustrated and the surge of emotions got to him that night. He regrets what he said but he also thinks that if Jeonghan keeps suggesting a breakup everytime they fight, then maybe he really wants it. So willing all the courage he has, he gave him what he thinks is for the best, not that it benefits him in any other ways. 

 

At least, he's convincing himself. If they are to go their separate ways, he'll start reminding his head that Jeonghan is not his anymore, so he didn't move any further that night; didn't take the chance to hush the younger's sobs or make him feel any better.

 

He grabs the knife again in an attempt to make a decent breakfast for the third time around, slicing some ingredients for an omelette.

 

_Maybe he can pack all his things up today and stay at Mingyu's for a while._

 

"Good morning, baby," comes in Jeonghan's groggy voice from behind, clearly still half asleep and unaware of what he is doing. This makes Seungcheol flinch. _Very awkward._

 

With his wandering mind, the knife slips just enough to make a small cut on his finger. "Fuck." _Again._

 

Jeonghan stills, hair sticking out in different ways and eyes very puffed and bloodshot. _He looks like a mess_ , Seungcheol thought, _but he was my mess.. once._

 

"What the fuck, you fucking idiot?" Jeonghan darts toward him and Seungcheol braces himself for the rage. Maybe this is his late tantrum for what had happened last night and he suddenly gets scared at the presence of a knife in vicinity. But instead of something violent, a hand grips around his wrist and soft lips wraps around his finger that was bleeding, sucking out the blood on it. "What did I tell you about keeping out of the kitchen? You never listen to me!"

 

"I was just making _myself_ some breakfast," he accentuates that certain word enough for Jeonghan to realize what is happening and what he just did.

 

Silently the blond steps back, letting go of the other's hand, and some emotion quivers in the back of his eyes as if everything has just finally dawned on him. _Right, they broke up._ "Uh.. yeah, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. Continue what you w-we-"

 

Seungcheol's chest clenches at the look on Jeonghan's face, "Jeonghan.."

 

"I'll head back to sleep, Seungcheol," Jeonghan's voice is suddenly stable this time and this makes Seungcheol's brows knit together in confusion. "My head hurts."

 

"Jeonghan," he calls out yet again, trying to console the younger. "Do you want me to make you breakfast?" He is really trying his best to make their situation better.

 

"No, I'm good. Besides, Seungkwan is coming over later so suit yourself." Jeonghan's shoulders trembles.

 

Seungcheol can only sigh as he watches him tread back to their room.

 

*

 

It is high noon when the doorbell rings five times, consecutively, as if a kid decided to play a prank on them but knowing any better that Jeonghan isn't the type to get out of bed to open it, Seungcheol takes the initiative.

 

"Hyung!" Seungkwan is the first one to throw his arms around Seungcheol and if it isn't for his leg strength, he would've toppled back, the kid on top of him.

 

And then, Minghao, Junhui, Hansol.. it is a skip to realize that everyone is suddenly inside his apartment.. _well, except for Joshua_ , when it's really hard to gather all his friends every time they hang out.

 

Soonyoung is the last to join in, shaking everyone's hand and greeting them a good noon as Seungcheol closes the door from behind.

 

"Why is Soonyoung drunk this early?" The oldest doesn't need to turn around to detect Jeonghan's voice from the living room. _God, he will miss that voice._

 

The bunch, surprisingly, settles themselves in front of the television, tuned into what looks like a TV series entitled _"Grey's Anatomy"_ as what Seungcheol remembers. His gaze flits to Jeonghan squished between Mingyu and Soonyoung, who is playing with his hair and still very drunk.

 

"Jihoon hyung rejected Soonyoung hyung the fifth time today." It is Chan who answers Jeonghan's query and someone laughs from the floor, probably Dokyeom, Seungcheol can't see from the plethora of pillows.

 

"It's not my fault, I find relationships, nowadays, faulty and a waste of time," Jihoon snorts.

 

Jeonghan tenses.

 

Seungcheol looks away.

 

"You don't have to be that poetic, hyung!" Hansol snickers, missing the way how Jihoon flinched.

 

Soonyoung gets up and and stands on the couch, making some of the boys around him move away. "Hyung!" He shouts, particularly at the raven who is standing beside the TV. "You should really call that little devil out there. So.. so heartless!"

 

"Soonyoung, move down. You look like an idiot," Wonwoo chimes in, hitting Soonyoung with a throw pillow.

 

"Man, you can't say that to someone who's broken," Soonyoung's voice starts to quiver like he's about to break down in big sobs but before he could do that, he shoves himself to Jeonghan and then he starts wailing like a child. Nobody gives him a spare glance as they all went back to watching the show. Soonyoung can get really overdramatic at times.

 

"You shouldn't have told him that," Mingyu quips from Wonwoo's side, hands busy on the controller which clearly isn't necessary because they are watching a show and not playing a video game.

 

"What? That he's an idiot? I always tell him that."

 

"No, that he should move down. You've hit a new low, Wonwoo hyung."

 

Wonwoo could only give Mingyu a puzzled look.

 

*

 

It is somewhere during eight in the evening that all of them finishes with probably the fourth horror movie for the day. It is also somehow an unvoiced decision for all of them to stay until dawn hits and everyone gets back to their own respective houses to get themselves some sleep.

 

Seungcheol can't keep still, with his feet cramped under Junhui's weight. But that isn't entirely the case. Everyone seems so hooked up with the movie but he can feel Jeonghan's burning gaze, shooting daggers from across the long sofa he's starting to think his head might have holes by now. 

 

"Junhui," the blond finally, finally voices out his thoughts but the identified man doesn't even give him a glance as he is too busy with his phone. Seungcheol braces himself for what's gonna happen next. 

 

"Junhui," Jeonghan repeats again in a loud, clear voice which makes everyone turn around. Seungcheol feels the urge to nudge Jun before Jeonghan could do something violent. He knows Jeonghan and he also knows he doesn't like being ignored. One need that Seungcheol makes sure he's fulfilling well. "Junhui, can you get off my boyfriend's lap? That would be delightful. Thanks."

 

Seungcheol takes a long dragging breath at Jeonghan's outburst. He doesn't need to do that but he just did, because of course, he's Jeonghan.

 

"Woah man, what are you so pissed about?" Junhui raises both of his hands up in surrender and slid off the older's lap, into the awaiting arms of the sofa. Seungcheol feels slightly apologetic to the younger. "I'm not doing anything."

 

"Right," Jeonghan can only bite, probably thinking how he sounded so immature.

 

"I forgot I have errands to do," Seungcheol, the reason of the tension, suddenly stands up and picks off the keys of his car from the bowl on the tabletop. Whatever he could do to escape the growing stale air, he takes just so maybe he can prevent an impending headache. "Be back in an hour."

 

"I'll go with you," Woozi presents, immediately picking up the awkward atmosphere.

 

Nobody notices them walking out of the flat until Seungcheol heard Jeonghan's voice the moment he closes the door behind him.

 

"Actually, Seungcheol and I broke up last night."

 

*

 

"What happened?"

 

"I don't know."

 

Seoul at night is busy: a bustling plenitude of cars and passers-by, moving fast and blending into the dark blanket of the evening and neon lights of the whole city. Jihoon and Seungcheol finds themselves sitting on the hood of Seungcheol's car, sipping cigarettes, probably to ease off the stress.

 

"How about you?" the older frowns, "I know you like Soonyoung."

 

"I do."

 

Seungcheol raises a brow at his bestfriend with confusion etched all over his face, "So why?"

 

"Where did Jeonghan and you ended up?"

 

Seungcheol's frown deepens even more at the comparison Jihoon places on the table. "The failure of my relationship doesn't also mean the failure of yours. Come on."

 

Jihoon snorts and Seungcheol wonders if he sounded ridiculous but the younger only shakes his head. "Failure, you asshole. Did you even try?"

 

"I don't know. Maybe Jeonghan really wants it so yeah, I agreed. He probably thinks I'm useless."

 

"I don't know about you but I know Jeonghan and he wouldn't have lasted this long with you if he doesn't love you. How many years?"

 

"Three."

 

"See? Three fucking years, Seungcheol."

 

Seungcheol finds himself scratching at his skin. The whole emptiness last night that he manically pushed further down his throat is bubbling up again by Jihoon's words. He doesn't want to handle this now or more so like, he doesn't know how to handle this but now that Jihoon brings it up, maybe it's time for him to admit.

 

"Not all people who are inlove are compatible, Jihoon. The two of us just didn't work out, I guess," Seungcheol starts to laugh, a sarcastic one that houses sobs, choking it all back. A kind of sarcasm to his own pain. "What a pity," he adds, pulling off something shiny from his pocket: a ring. Jihoon's eyes widens. "I was about to ask him. Just didn't find the right time."

 

"What's stopping you from getting him back? You fucking idiot, you didn't wholly receive Seokmin's and Wonwoo's punches the day we found out you both were cheating behind Jisoo's back, only for everything to be thrown away."

 

Seungcheol sighs, a long exhausted one. "Maybe that was the reason. Because we built our relationship with the wrong foundation."

 

"Sex isn't the issue, Seungcheol. I'd wager you could endure a whole year without sex if it means bringing Jeonghan back."

 

Seungcheol chuckles, realization hitting him squarely in the chest, "You're not entirely wrong."

 

"Are you tired?"

 

"Of him? Maybe, yes. Maybe, no. But if I ever was, I could only just take a break and then love him back, after that." Smoke billows from Seungcheol's lips and then he smiles, "You know I can't afford to lose him, right?"

 

Seoul at dawn is silent: a low hum of plenitude of the sleeping neighborhood and crickets, moving fast and blending into the dark blanket of slumber. Seungcheol finds himself a bit too late to be stumbling home from his errands and everyone is probably back into their own houses. It's almost midnight and his apartment is awfully cold, like someone snatched the warmth away from it.

 

"Jeonghan?" he calls out and doesn't bother checking their bedroom because the other might have dozed off early and is probably already deep into sleep. Seungcheol, on the other hand, knocks himself out on the sofa, feeling the strain of his muscles from the stress of the past few days.

 

_Tomorrow, he'll talk everything out with him._

 

Only he doesn't.

 

Because the next morning, Seungcheol wakes up to an empty apartment, devoid of Jeonghan's pieces from everywhere and it's like he wasn't even a part of his life from the very start. _Totally gone._

 

Seungcheol starts to panic.

 

*


	3. at 10 pm

Jeonghan threads lifelessly from among the plenitude of people, his thumb unconsciously scratching the rough edges of a coin whilst his other arm is wrapped around a paperbag full of instant food he is able to scrape from his draining allowance. His messenger bag hangs heavily on his back and he's been thinking he wouldn't be this tired if Seungcheol is around.

  
  
He sighs again.

  
  
_What was he thinking when he left?_ It has been Seungkwan's prodding and Junhui's advises that urged him to leave. Now it has been two full weeks and he just really misses the man.

  
But then again, why isn't Seungcheol contacting him? Even if he deliberately left, he should be the one consoling him, right? They really are going their own ways now.

  
  
_Another sigh._

  
  
"You know you could stop sighing and just go back to your apartment, right?" The voice makes Jeonghan jump a little, pulling him back to reality that he's on call and his mind only left wandering for a little while.

  
  
He adjusts his earphones and swerves to the right when a lady zooms past him, almost knocking him over. "Joshua," he sighs for the nth damn time but is immediately cut off by the caller.

  
  
"Stop sighing if you don't want me to fly from L.A. to Seoul just to whack your head with a book, Jeonghan."

  
  
"Okay geez, keep your cool. I was just thinking."

  
  
"You've been thinking for the past thirty minutes." Jeonghan can see Joshua rolling his eyes from a million miles away, probably infront of his TV or his books while eating his favorite chips as Jeonghan jabs the keys to Jihoon and Seungkwan's apartment.

  
  
"What do I do, Shua?" Jeonghan is halfway to crying, flinging himself to the kitchen the moment he opens the flat to rest his limbs and put down all his supplies. He's been living with Jihoon and Seungkwan with the promise that he'll pay them later if they keep this fact from Seungcheol to which Jihoon was a bit hesitant because who can lie to that big oaf?

  
  
"Bitch," Joshua hisses.

  
  
This makes Jeonghan gasp audibly, "What did L.A. do to you?"

 

  
"You never listen to me!" The guy whines, supplied with a small laugh, assuring Jeonghan that he meant no offense with what he said earlier. "I spent the last thirty minutes saying that you should go talk to him. I know Seungcheol. He can never get mad at you."

 

  
Jeonghan bites his lip as he finds ground by slipping on the kitchen stool to sit, mauling over memories and past sins. Maybe he saved a million lives in his past life for him to deserve someone like Joshua, who has always been around even if he already fucked him over too many times.

  
  
It wasn't during the breakup that Joshua found out about Jeonghan and Seungcheol's relationship. It was three months after, when he had to cut short a semester just so he can fly back to Seoul and talk it out with Seungcheol, only to be betrayed by his own  _bestfriend_ when Jeonghan answered Seungcheol's door, still reeking of his after  _sex_ glory.

 

The look of hesitation on Joshua's face that day was etched into his very being before Seungcheol's voice rang all throughout the apartment,  _"Baby, who's there?"_

 

Realization flitted the other's features and the small  _"oh"_ that left his lips that morning still carves out guilt in every pieces of Jeonghan.

  
  
It wasn't also that pretty. Jeonghan can still remember the disappointed look on everyone's faces as well as Seungcheol's busted lip when the whole gang erupted into a fight.

  
  
"I'm sorry," Jeonghan is crying now. He leans down the counter as his shoulders shake so badly. "I just.. I just really love him."

  
  
"I know." Joshua's voice is placating and soothing at the same time, as if patting Jeonghan's back through the international and expensive call. He knows the apology isn't just about the current issue but roots back from years ago. "You look ugly when you cry. Don't do that."

  
  
Jeonghan's sobs turns even louder and the other laughs. "D-Do you think Seungcheol is already seeing someone right now?"

  
  
"Well, he has a bad history of cheating so maybe, yes."

  
  
Joshua expects playful bite back from Jeonghan, because that's what he always do. He never lets anyone kick him but the blond only settles with a small, "I don't deserve him anyway."

  
  
"He's just a man, Jeonghan. Maybe he just needed the rest. He'll find his way back to you."

  
  
"Sure, keep my hopes up. I didn't even know he's allergic to peanuts and he almost died that one time Mingyu fed him brownies because his fatass can't resist, that fucking idiot."

  
  
It is Joshua's turn to sigh this time, "Choi Seungcheol, what a jerk."

 

Jeonghan laughs, hastily wiping down his tears and snot when he hears Seungkwan shouting from the hallway as if he owns the whole building. He doesn't like showing them how vulnerable he has been these days. "You should have warned me about falling in love with him."

  
  
The line goes silent for quite some time and Jeonghan wonders if he touched a sensitive topic. He is about to take it back when Joshua's silent voice comes through. "He has always been inlove with you, you know. Even when we were still together, I saw how he looked at you. It was different and he doesn't even look at me that way. I have always known. And yet, I didn't bother because I was so into him. I wasn't even able to warn myself, Jeonghan."

  
  
The blond remains silent, probably too stunned when Joshua placed his heart out front and this serves as a sign for the latter to continue, finally finding his chance on solace and closure between the two. "What I'm just trying to say is he wouldn't just give up this easily, not without a fight, if you didn't give him a reason to. I know Seungcheol. He always puts everyone's needs first even if it means hell to him which is why I gave him up to you because I know, he had been selfish only that time. At least, he did something for himself."

  
  
"Are we really ending everything this way?"

  
  
"I don't know, Jeonghan. Everything's up to the both of you right now."

  
  
Just then Seungkwan bursts to the kitchen and picks a protein bar from Jeonghan's groceries, gracing everything his way by knocking over some irrelevant items on the counter with his pompoms.

  
  
"What's with your cheerleader props?"

  
  
"Today's Seungcheol's last soccer match, duh. Aren't you attending?" Seungkwan raises a brow.

  
  
Maybe Jeonghan has been a bit too selfish about everything.

  
  
*

  
  
It is the constant buzzing at 7 pm that jolts Jeonghan awake and he would have ignored it if not only for the fact that the whole apartment shakes every time the buzz resounds which means that someone outside the door has been pressing the doorbell countless times.

  
  
He seems to have slept in the couch through his third rerun of _Inside Out_ and his tub of ice cream left sticky residue on the glass table. _Jihoon will kill him._ Crap, it must be Jihoon outside the door.

  
  
He hastily wipes everything out using the tissues on the floor, suddenly scared of being murdered by his own friend, who by the way, is very capable, before he jolts to a run to open the door.

  
  
Only he doesn't find Jihoon.

  
  
Because there standing in the hallway, with his hands stuffed inside his jacket and sweat still rolling down his temples is Choi Seungcheol, in all his glory.

  
  
Before Jeonghan can even recall the very first time they met, he is knocked out of his breath when a strong pair of arms tucks him inside a hug with the other saying, "You fucking scared the shit out of me, Yoon Jeonghan."

  
  
And as much as Jeonghan wants to stay inside the man's arms, he gathers all his will to push Seungcheol away so he can look at him in the eyes. "What are you doing here?"

 

  
Jeonghan immediately regrets the question he chose when a look of hurt passes Seungcheol's handsome features and then he slowly, like he's treading on water, says, "I came as soon as I found out from Seungkwan."

  
  
"No," Jeonghan gulps, abruptly halting when he was about to utter _'baby'_ ,  "I mean, don't you have a soccer match today?"

  
  
"Well yes, I do but you're more important and-"

  
  
A familiar warmth spreads throughout Jeonghan's chest but he cuts off the man's words, thinking maybe this time, he can stop being so self-centered and make everything right. "Then what the fuck are you doing here? Let's go!"

  
  
"Wait what?" The older raises a confused brow at him when he's being pushed out of the flat and into the hallway by Jeonghan.

  
  
"You have a game to attend, you idiot!" Jeonghan runs around in circles, picking up his jacket and not caring whether he's wearing his glasses and not his contact lenses. Seungcheol starts to grin but jumps when Jeonghan throws him his backpack. "Stop standing there like a dumb prick, Choi Seungcheol!"

  
  
"Alright, you don't have to shout!"

  
  
*

 

The soccer arena doesn't appeal much to Jeonghan. Hell, it didn't appeal to him the very first time he knew Seungcheol is a soccer player. It's starting to pour, nearing the last quarter and his glasses aren't helping when he's also getting soaked. Seungkwan and Soonyoung on the other side of the bleachers are louder than usual, cheering for their friends and scaring the supposed to be cheerleaders in vicinity.

  
  
This is the first time Jeonghan attends Seungcheol's game. Throughout their relationship, he always had excuses when he really just doesn't want the outdoors. Seungcheol would always understand. So when Jeonghan saw Seungcheol's wide smile earlier while he was dragging him to attend his game, it sparks a kind of guilt and pain in him.

  
  
"You don't deserve him," Jihoon starts to mumble, eyes straight ahead when Seungcheol looks up to their area even in the midst of the game and winks at Jeonghan.

  
  
Another jab of pain passes through Jeonghan when Seungcheol's face registers panic before he finds Jeonghan so he smiles, reassuring the older that he won't be leaving again, _not anymore_. "I know," he bites his lips and swallows back the sobs but his eyes betray him when tears start rolling down his cheeks. _Well at least, the soft rain helps him today._

  
  
Jihoon was the one most angered by their breakup. Sometimes, Jeonghan would wake up to Jihoon's complaints to Seungkwan about letting him stay in their apartment. And Jeonghan most definitely understands him. He just doesn't want Seungcheol getting hurt, especially by Jeonghan.

  
  
"I was the first one to know about your affair and I've always told him that you are a bad habit but the big oaf is a fool."

  
  
"I'm sorry," is what Jeonghan could only say, letting Jihoon's words pass through every fiber of him.

  
  
The whole arena suddenly roars when Seungcheol almost lands a goal, missing only by an inch. A swell of pride swings in Jeonghan's chest, knowing that his _boyfriend_ , if it's safe to say, is doing what he loves the most.

  
  
"And I've always told myself, he's just letting the steam off, that it's just the sex; but you got him wrapped around your fingers Jeonghan and it also pained me to watch him drown in guilt because I know, Seungcheol can't dare to run around and play with people's feelings, most especially Joshua's."

  
  
"I was that selfish, wasn't I?" Jeonghan sarcastically laughs, mocking his own pain and this makes Jihoon wince. As much as he wants Seungcheol to heal, Jeonghan is also his friend. He just wants the best.

  
  
"Yes, you are. You should have seen the look on his face every time he attended his games without you. Funny how you did not realize that everything he does is for you and you fucking called the relationship off, throwing all his sacrifices away, over a petty fight because what? You got jealous with the student council secretary. You see. whatever you're thinking, you're wrong. Seungcheol isn't that type of person."

  
  
Jeonghan likes to deny Jihoon's lack of emotions but he's now starting to think, it is indeed true after he said all of this in monotone, lips not even quivering because of the cold and his face stoic, as if he's only watching a television show.

  
  
"I'm fixing everything."

  
  
"You should."

  
  
The blond doesn't register the blow of the horns and everyone jumping in glee. The cheerleaders does their routine and the whole soccer team, including Seungcheol and Seokmin, is lifting Kim Mingyu up in the air. They won by only a point, most probably by Mingyu. Jihoon starts pulling him out of the bleachers and into the soccer grounds when he just stands dumbly in there. Everything is in total disarray for Jeonghan's standards. There's confetti everywhere and Seungkwan goes to join the game announcer but the moment Seungcheol peels himself away from the team to jog toward him, it's as if the time stop cliche happened to him. It's as if it's okay for him that everything's a mess, as long as Seungcheol is around.

 

  
"Hey," the older sports that smile Jeonghan loves, when he stops short infront of him.

  
  
"God, I'm so proud of you." By now, Jeonghan lets every emotion fall into its places and he pulls Seungcheol into a deep kiss, arms wrapped around the older's neck.

  
  
Seungcheol looks stunned but immediately responds, sweeping Jeonghan into his arms, saying he shouldn't let go. The sweat sticks on Jeonghan's shirt but he doesn't care, not when he has Seungcheol around him like this. His mouth feels hot, grounding him like he's his own pull of gravity and if his sanity wasn't that intact, he would have undressed Seungcheol in minutes but right now, they needed to talk.

  
  
When they pull away, they are both soaked and gasping but the twinkle in Seungcheol's eyes seems a bit more important to him by the moment. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that.. whatever stupid thing that I did."

  
  
Seungcheol shakes his head and brings his hand up to caress Jeonghan's cheek. "I'm sorry I was too caught up with my anger. God, I thought I lost you."

  
  
"You didn't and you won't. Not ever. I'm sorry if I've always been centered on everything. I was only afraid you'd slip off my hand. I didn't like everything you love because they're taking you away from me and I don't want that. Every time you come home from your soccer practices, you're always tired and.. a-and." It's a minute too late for Jeonghan to realize that he's crying again, sobs wrecking through his chest madly and painfully. "And.. you don't even kiss me anymore."

  
  
The pain that settles inside Seungcheol's gut was undeniable but he's glad he could comfort Jeonghan this way so he ends up wrapping his arms around the younger, letting him sob through his shirt. "I didn't know you felt that way."

  
  
"And then, your absences fueled my anger. It was hard.. you know. To put my trust in you because you and I started that way. Somewhere in the back of my mind, a voice would say that you've cheated on someone once, what could ever stop you from doing it again? And, I.. I don't want that."

  
  
"Shhh," Seungcheol creates soft circles on Jeonghan's back. This is his way of saying sorry after finally hearing Jeonghan's side. It must have hurt but he knows this will not be a hindrance in the future. "I'm here. I will always be here."

  
  
"But now, I understand," Jeonghan smiles and hastily wipes out his tears, looking up at Seungcheol who looks equally wrecked. "Just don't get tired with me."

  
  
"I won't. Never."

  
  
"You have my heart."

  
  
Seungcheol leans in to put a mouthful of kisses on Jeonghan's lips, "Yoon Jeonghan, you own my soul."

  
  
"Fucking get a room!" A mass of people shouts in unison and the couple whip their heads around, only to spot their friends. And then they start throwing random things at them. Seungcheol also starts to laugh but Jeonghan shrieks in annoyance and hides behind the older when a smelly shirt goes past him.

  
  
"I will choke the very first person my arms will land on!" Seungcheol roars and bolts toward them, dispersing everyone around; shouting in terror and amusement.

  
  
Jihoon rolls his eyes but he smiles at Jeonghan.

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, hi. The jeongcheol tag is dry so I decided to update. This was rushed and I did not proofread but I hope you enjoyed. Sorry for the errors. Epilogue or nah?
> 
> P.S. I attended SVT's last concert. It was lit.


	4. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually decided last week to leave this fic at that (although I already have the epilogue in hand) but someone commented and asked for it (hi) so here, as my New Year gift. I am sorry for this word vomit. Fluff is not my forte, at all. And I held this back because I don't have enough courage. Enjoy.
> 
> Here is Seungcheol's side of the coin.

Seungcheol jerks awake with the sudden pain that seared hot all throughout the shell of his ear. The discomfort is only barely lifting away when the hand again twists his piercing, sending another set of pain to his already numbing ear.  
  
“What the fu-” he goes to say as he adjusts his post slumber eyes to the dark contrast of the room but he spots Jeonghan sitting on the floor in his side of the bed, looking furious and annoyed at the same time. He's confused so he shuts his mouth especially when the other starts violently dabbing away what looks like tears—yes, those are tears, Seungcheol confirmsㅡ as though he's angry at himself for crying.  
  
Jeonghan hardly ever cries, that is one fact Seungcheol found out after living with his lover for over years. If he ever does cry, he makes sure Seungcheol doesn't see him.   
  
“You won't wake up,” Jeonghan complains, annoyance breeding into tantrum.

Seungcheol already noticed what is happening.

The older's heart twists at the sight, dark spacious room with a hunched figure in the corner, and he doesn't know how Jeonghan does that to him. Ever since, it has been like an unwritten axiom that what Jeonghan feels must mirror Seungcheol's too. Most times, it has come to the point that Seungcheol unconsciously just stares at Jeonghan and his mind would dislodge and well, he'll continue staring like it's a very normal thing to do.   
  
_It isn't_ and their friends had already called him out for being so whipped and disgustingly sweet, if that's possible—at times, it’s just plain disgusting.  
  
So it's a bit funny when he found out about Jeonghan's doubt on him, less than two years ago after a major fight where they ended having make up sex, post soccer game.

  
And right now, with Jeonghan silently crying in front of him, he expects for the _worst_ case scenario: probably another problem, a major one, considering the fact that the last time he saw him cry was... he really doesn't want his thoughts to walk through that but it just did and now he's suddenly scared.  
  
Willing all his energy to fight off the whispers of sleep, he sits up and scoots away so he could make more room on the bed for the younger. "Want to talk about it, baby? What's the matter?"  
  
To that, Jeonghan's face shifts from only an adorable pout to a full blown scowl. He doesn't like being coaxed when he's pissed and Seungcheol wants to hit himself for forgetting about that. “Why are you like this?” the other asks in a forced angry tone.  
  
"Why?" he groggily whispers, as if he's walking on tiptoes, afraid to plunge into cold hard furious Jeonghan. Really, he just doesn't want any of those past events to happen again. But then, he'd rather have bad nights with the younger than pleasant ones without him. He’s _that_ whipped, it’s embarrassing. "What did I do?"  
  
“Nothing.” Much to his surprise, Jeonghan hastily climbs on their bed, draping himself almost immediately to Seungcheol: face buried on his chest, arms wrapped around his waist. He keens and Seungcheol's breathe _fucking_ falters.   
  
The older notices Jeonghan's still in his work clothes and the red numbers staring right at him from their bedside table tells him it's fifteen minutes past two am. He must be really tired, which leads him to slowly pulling Jeonghan down into the comforts of the bed. He also starts drawing soft calming circles using his palm against the other's waist whilst the latter softly purrs into his neck, still crying; obliging without much struggle. “Do you want water? You just got home.”  
  
Jeonghan's arms only tightens around him.  
  
No, he doesn't want water. Seungcheol can supply himself that.  
  
What Seungcheol doesn't know is how it all transpired to this. What once he thought was a college fling—because he was once an asshole—turned into something he really can't understand, nor let go. Jeonghan suddenly is everywhere, and to say that his thoughts dwell on him is a misconception. His thoughts build on him, strong and very much stable.

It has been hard, he knew. Complication isn't his forte. For all his life, he stayed inside the comfortable clichés although the onslaught of popularity for being the soccer team captain increased his chances on the pedestal. He was never the one to cause chaos much more an affair.  
  
But one night, when they were finishing a half-assed project on Statistics 2, he realized Jeonghan isn’t someone he could just fool around with: playing on the floor with the neighbor's puppy and laughing as the ball of fur pounced on him.

  
They say you’re supposed to hinder yourself in finding perfection in someone else once you’re already committed to somebody but it isn’t all in black and white—there are in-betweens, and within that, Seungcheol finds himself casted.

How do you actually find home in somebody else's arms and deny it at the same time?

It was four a.m. and he says _"fuck it"_.  
  
“I'm sorry,” the younger suddenly chokes out, squirming in his position in the bed and Seungcheol isn't sure if he's relieved or even more worried that he finally talked after being quiet for ten long minutes. "I'm r-really sorry." The younger's voice cracks this time and his breathing starts to stumble out of rhythm.  
  
"Hey," he pulls him away so he could wipe the tears streaming out his face. He makes sure to use his soft voice but this only makes Jeonghan cry (angrily, if that’s possible) even more. "Hey, it's okay, sweetie. Whatever is bothering you, I won't be mad about it so you can tell me."  
  
Because it has always been that way, hasn't it? Seungcheol succumbing to Jeonghan's whims, even though sometimes he finds them cunning and childish.

It's always _“Seungcheol, do this”_ and _“Seungcheol, do that”_. He really can’t say no (he tried head locking him already: futile).  
  
There was one time he pried off Jeonghan's routine, taking himself all the way back to his hometown, Daegu. Because back in their arrangement, Seungcheol met the most evils of himself: guilt and passion. He was so ridden and but he wasn't immoral, or so he thought he could push off his own monsters because two months later had him flying back to Seoul after one—take note, only one—particular missed call from Jeonghan.  
  
There was really no going back, that night. He's in too deep the moment he showed up at the younger's front door at 11 in the evening.   
  
“You'll be mad. For sure.”  
  
“No. I promise.”  
  
Jeonghan glares at him, first, as if he’s threatening to burn Seungcheol’s identity if he ever gets mad and then with a deep breath, he admits, “I accidentally caused a scratch to your Chevy.”  
  
“What the hell?” Seungcheol shoots up and Jeonghan is ready to burst into tantrum again, only to be yanked up and be hastily twisted around by the other. “Did you get into an accident? Are you okay? Why the fuck didn't you tell me earlier? A cellphone is just one press away, Jeonghan! Are you in one piece? Does anything hu—“  
  
He slaps Seungcheol once and that seemed to work because he stopped overreacting and yet even though he now knows Seungcheol isn't close to being mad, he cries again anyway because he's _dramatic_ and he likes being _spoiled_ and being reassured of the other's love for him. “But that's like your favorite car!”  
  
“Come here,” Seungcheol gathers him in his arms and situates him in his lap where fitting in is now harder because Jeonghan's growing taller close to his height. He rests his head on Seungcheol's broad shoulder though. “I'll have it done next week. You're my favorite human. That totally beats it.”  
  
“Still, your father gave that to you,” he murmured, sounding very apologetic.  
  
“The heavens gave you to me.”  
  
Jeonghan rolls his eyes, tears now finally gone and what's left is only relief and warmth in his gut. Seungcheol knows Jeonghan likes to mask his fondness for him as annoyance because affection has always been hard for him: both to give and to receive. But he also knows that he is the living evidence that Jeonghan's not always right about himself. And he prides himself for that.  
  
“You even call that car your _baby_.”  
  
“I call you baby, too. Don't worry about it too much. It's just a car. The important thing is you're not in any way harmed,” Seungcheol playfully slaps Jeonghan's perk butt, which was sticking out because he's lazily slumped onto the other. “Let's sleep. You must be stressed.”  
  
“Stop slapping me, dumbass.”  
  
“That's something you don't say in bed.”

"What the hell," Jeonghan blandly says, hastily flinging away from the man and into the covers of their bed. “You really are something, you ass.”  
  
_Fucking cute._  
  
_And he's fucking in love._  
  
“I just hope the scratch isn't that bad.”  
  
It doesn't take long for Jeonghan to scoot back into Seungcheol's personal space, always the intruder, when they're both about ready to let sleep take over. Backing almost impossibly close until he could feel the elder’s chest pressed warm against his back and his arm draped around his waist as if on automatic cue, he whispers, "I thought you were more concerned about me."  
  
"You just called me dumbass when you were the one who cried over a car scratch," Seungcheol's laughter vibrates through his being, swell and happy, and it's kind of contagious so Jeonghan laughs too.  
  
"It is a precious car."  
  
"Seriously, sweetie. No one comes close to you."  
  
And he means it. He scans the room looming around the both of them. The pieces of Jeonghan are back: his too tight pants that Seungcheol doesn't like is hanging on the arm rest of the couch in _their_ bedroom; his red scarf that Seungcheol bought last Christmas peeks out of latter's unruly part of the closet; his cold mug sits serene on the bed side table and his body is pressed warm against his.   
  
“Tch, sweet talker.”  
  
“I'm just saying you aren't allowed to say no to me driving you to and from your work, again. I can't take any risk.”  
  
“For now. Because of the scratch. Fine.”  
  
“So.. how about sex in that car?”

“Don’t even try to push it, Choi.”

Seungcheol snickers and he has never felt this content all his life. 

  
  
*

  
  
  
“You should at least compliment my new hair today.” It has been fifteen minutes since Seungcheol started trying to catch his attention, doing whatever he thinks is amusing from subtle kissing of his cheek to total biting of his shoulder.  
  
The parking lot doesn't help as it's scorching hot and everyone is late. He didn't wake up three hours earlier than his supposed to be functional hours only to be stood up by them.   
  
The diner infront, however, gives him eerie memories both sweet and bitter to look back. This was where their group's bond started; where last minute papers were crammed through heaps of coffee cups; where laughter and tears mixed along the scent of success when they graduated; where Seungkwan slipped, fell face first and fainted due to impact because of a prank Seokmin and Soonyoung pulled. This diner also served Seungcheol and him home when they needed it the most, hunched together in snug hoodies during cold summer nights because they were being held back by their own guilt. This shared their secrets, discreet glances and subtle touches when everyone's too preoccupied to notice.  
  
He looks at the other, trying to act annoyed but then he shows that million dollar smile and Jeonghan suddenly can't feel his legs. “You sure do know how to put those dimples to use,” he grumbles but fixes Seungcheol's hair anyway, sticking it up to show his forehead. “Handsome. Happy now?”  
  
“A kiss won’t hurt too.” Jeonghan narrows his eyes at the sudden assault of affection from the older but Seungcheol immediately retaliates by saying, “They're all already inside, let's go.” Of course, they didn't head in without Seungcheol stealing another kiss from him. _Of course._  
  
Mingyu's voice is booming the moment the two entered the establishment as he talks about his career in a daycare center and how cute his little kids are. Surely time flies past and the next thing you know, your friend is already claiming kids from another parents while the others go on a rant about how office work is redundant and tiring. They only notice that the two have arrived when Junhui straight up shrieks because Jeonghan happens to sit next to him, “Hyung! Oh my god, you look really good! When did you cut your hair?”  
  
“Hey! What about me? I dyed my hair!”

And then a flurry of greetings and catching ups are exchanged as the sun rides high on Seoul morning. Jeonghan barely seizes every information passed around the table because he's content with just sitting back and watching all of them hog out Wonwoo and Seungcheol who they were coaxing to pay for the meal because they both are the highest earners.  
  
“Ah, my very capable man,” Jeonghan jokes tapping Seungcheol's hand and this made the others laugh in unison as the eldest’s face contorts. They know he can't say no to him.  
  
“I can sing to pay all that you'll be spending for today, Seungcheol hyung!”  
  
“There's no need for that Seokmin,” Soonyoung interrupts, pulling the already hyped up guy back into the booth.  
  
Jihoon scowls, “Stop being so squirmy Soonyoung, god fucking fuck!”  
  
“Jesus Christ, he never lost the talent in cussing,” Seungkwan pseudo whispers, intentionally letting Jihoon hear him before a shriek leaves his lips again because Hansol suddenly just laughs like a dying seal, slapping the table, when nothing's really funny.  
  
“Aww,” Minghao coos at Hansol as if he's a total baby and Chan, who has been drinking chokes on his water. “They're cute.”  
  
“Shut up! You know what? We should order our food!”  
  
They were so rowdy, to say the least. _The usual._  
  
“Wait, you guys are together?”  
  
Someone hollers and Seokmin flails his arms everywhere like a toad.  
  
“What the fuck?”  
  
“No!”  
  
“Food!”  
  
“Ah, the smell of authentic homemade pancakes!”  
  
“The best only for the best!”  
  
Jeonghan fondly watches the scene unwrap in front of him. Suddenly, he doesn't care about getting breakfast, or about how early he woke up; neither the sun being too scorching hot. Sometimes, like this, he just feels really sated.  
  
“Hannie, I need you to stand up.”  
  
He snaps out of his daze and gives Seungcheol a questioning look. “What?”  
  
“Your shoelaces are untied.”  
  
He looks down. His shoelaces are indeed untied. Was he watching him all that long? “I can do it, babe. It's fine.”  
  
“No, stand up. I'm making sure you won't fall for any other guy.”  
  
Jeonghan wants to slap himself at that. Sometimes it's _"God, I love this beautiful man"_ but two seconds after, it could also be _"Why did I even want him in the first place?"_ throwing away all other things about delectable Choi Seungcheol because sometimes, he's just pure grease. Nonetheless, he still vouches for the part where he fucking blushes and wants, again, to ask the universe _why_.  
  
He stands up anyway so Seungcheol could tie his shoelaces and does his very best to wad away the flush in his face by simply continuing to take fake interest in the group's conversation.  
  
Only they all fall silent and Seungkwan literally stands up just so he could mock faint towards whoever could catch him.  
  
Seokmin also screeches and everyone is suddenly looking at Jeonghan.  
  
Somehow, Jeonghan comes to realize what is happening. He does and it really is happening, right now.  
  
_Fucking Seungcheol._  
  
But before he could look down at the older, he takes a deep shaky breath.  
  
He is greeted with an open black velvet box, a very gorgeous ring inside it, littered with small diamonds along the band and a kneeling Seungcheol who looks equally nervous. “Let me love you for the rest of my life and settle down with me?”  
  
Jeonghan likes to fake emotions but when the only man he ever wants, is now kneeling in front of him asking him this question, he buckles in every parts and he dives to him, not caring when they're both sprawled on the floor, with him on top.  
  
“Yes, of course, baby. Of course!”  
  
Suddenly, he is crying and Seungcheol is crying too and back in the booth, everyone is whooping and howling. Soonyoung is being coaxed down by Junhui because he's on the table, dancing. Seungkwan already recovered from his stunt and Jihoon is filming but he doesn't care; he doesn't care about getting breakfast, or about how early he woke up; neither the sun being too scorching hot nor the groans when he decides to straddle Seungcheol on the floor and give him kisses all over his face as the older laughs through tears whilst slipping the ring into his finger.

 

He now knows that those strong arms will be constantly wrapped around him to protect him; his strong gaze will be gravitated only on him... and not on anyone else; his deep voice will infinitely whisper promises of love and maybe, less than innocent things into his ears. And now he can tuck his face into the crook of Seungcheol's neck or have his lithe body pressed against his, every day of his life.  
  
“You both are contributing to the porn community!”  
  
Jeonghan flips Soonyoung the finger where he's wearing the ring. “Fuck you! I'm getting married to my highschool sweetheart!”  
  
Finally, finally, he's now very much sure with one thing: Choi Seungcheol.  
  
And Jeonghan wouldn't have it any other way.

  
  
*

  
  
People say a person has four lifetimes in a whole cycle. Within those, you could meet your soulmate only once. And in this lifetime, he met Seungcheol. Jeonghan, unaware of how many other lifetimes he has left, doesn't really care if he never routes back. Maybe in his past life, they were teenage delinquents on rooftops smoking cigarettes and talking of suicide; or maybe, mortal enemies of inhumane abilities and a heightened desire to kill; or probably, princes from opposite rival kingdoms with a forbidden secret but now they're a seemingly normal couple, once scorned lovers who fought through own fiber of will and passion.   
  
Of course, they didn't wait for their official ceremony to exactly hold the wedding because his fiancé says it's cliché and he doesn't want cliché. It was a flush of whites when Seungcheol comically kidnaps him out of the hotel the night before their wedding.   
  
He finds himself in their old college university library at 11:30 in the evening, saying his vows to Seungcheol in between two large towering bookshelves because this is where they first met, as their friends fight hard not to cry, willing back tears when Dokyeom, the pseudo priest says, “Do you-“  
  
“I do,” Jeonghan breathes out the cold winter Seoul evening, eyes glazed at Seungcheol who was in a button up and dark tinted jeans.  
  
Jeonghan, on the other hand, is in his pajamas with a big coat wrapped around him and it seems like he was the only one not informed because they're all dressed rather casually, with white veils on top of Junhui's and Seungkwan's head.  
  
“Han, Dokyeom hasn't finished the question yet,” Jisoo says from his side, his ever loving best man who flew back from L.A. to attend tomorrow's wedding and not this pseudo-event.   
  
“I don’t care. I know what I said.” Jeonghan isn't having any of it and he pulls Seungcheol close, pressing their foreheads together in a contact so intimate and so pure that just had him smiling softly at the other who automatically wraps his arms around his waist. "Seungcheol, I promise you myself," he says, closing his eyes and meaning his words to pass everything they went through. “I want to let you know that I have found in you the man I wish to spend the rest of my life with.”  
  
Seungcheol takes a deep breath and presses a soft kiss into Jeonghan's forehead before he mumbles, “I am yours utterly and have been since the moment we met, in here.” A soft chuckle from Seungcheol. “We were married before this day and will always be.”  
  
"Until today," they say together: eyes trained on each other, this line practiced solely for the church ceremony, unlike the ones that had been said earlier, “the day that I told you I loved you, the day that I knew I was going to marry you, that was the best day of my life.”  
  
And then, Seungcheol leans in, places a soft loving kiss on his lips that has him melting in all the right places. It is at this moment that Jeonghan realizes this is what happiness tastes and feels like.  
  
"Well, I guess you guys didn't need us from the start!" Dokyeom cuts the comfortable silence, shutting the bible in his hands that turned out to be useless for this ceremony.

 

*

 

Laughters echo throughout the empty hall of the university as they sneakily move out one by one and Jeonghan is sure what they're doing is illegal when a blink of light passes all over the corridor and their noise attracts the roving security guard because instead of hiding, Mingyu and Soonyoung started yelling around about being "arrested for trespassing".  
  
Seungkwan, again, decides to fake faint but runs hastily when everyone starts bolting in the other direction, Seungcheol ahead with Jeonghan in tow and leaving the actor behind with his stunt. A bunch of grownups looking like five year olds running away from the mention of vegetables.  
  
“Your delinquent ways are showing, Seungcheol!” Jeonghan laughs, albeit being chased by the security who was already shouting lots of threats at them. The elder’s hand feels warm around his and he decides he's never letting go.   
  
They skid through a corner and a small unnoticeable contraption leads them to the parking lot, underground. “A student gotta know how to ditch classes,” Seungcheol explains and shoves everyone down the stairs with a cheeky grin evident on his face.  
  
Unfortunately, Chan trips on his feet upon landing on the parking lot and then everyone just decides to lay down on him, bodies on top of bodies; a game they once used to play when they were younger.  
  
Seungcheol and Jeonghan pulls away from the commotion and looks at everyone at a far distance, hands linked and shoulders bumping.  
  
"You're aware that we're going to be late for tomorrow's event, right?" Jeonghan muses, lips quirking up when Hansol tries to wriggle out of Wonwoo's death grip on him.   
  
"Mhm," Seungcheol hums, pressing another good kiss in his temple. "Don't care as long as you're in my arms."  
  
“Sweet talker,” he complains but ultimately melts into his _husband's_ hug.  
  
“You two! Stop being so old parents. That's disgusting!”  
  
“Soonyoung, I'm uninviting you to the wedding!”  
  
“Seriously!”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I did not ruin the mood of this fic. And yes, I dropped snippets of my other (and a possible new one) jeongcheol fics. Embarrassing. Happy new year. Continue to love jeongcheol (they cute). Hope everyone's well. Tell me your thoughts.
> 
>  
> 
> Give me prompts (or requests?) and let's talk about jeongcheol dynamics: https://curiouscat.me/pflaume or jcpflaume.tumblr.com


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